my being a single mom

Ive been encouraged by my niece to search a partner here in net but to no avail.
I am a single mom of a 9 year old sweet and bubbly young boy. Ive never been married, a single mom cause the father of my son is not available anymore when we had an affair..sad to say though..cause we love each other and we decided to create a family.
I believe then that it will not be a successful bonding because I knew we will hurt his family in the process. I had a doubt then, but our love for each other was so strong that we decided to "cross the bridge when its there". .I was even offered a marriage in a different city we lived in just to asssure me of the future with him. But i believed it won't work, so, I gave him up.
I was confident then because I had a career and I had the support of my christian church. I wanted to regain my confidence and trust of my elders since I handle a higher position in the ministry I was in. I knew then that what I did was a sin in the eyes of the people and of God.

But in that process, I did receive a punishment. I lost my business, and suffered financial difficulty. I had suffered emotionally too because when I need most the support of the father of my son i cannot find him anymore. I knew that he tried to regain the trust of his family too.

Now, I have just begin to build my career. I now, connected to a christian school as a bookeeper where my son is enrolled. He is now in grade 3, but sad to say, still longing to be with his father.